Vahini Yeeti Ghara Toochi Diwali Daasra

Yes !!! My Brother is tying the knot !!
What better news on this Diwali. Someone has rightly said
"Vahini Yeeti Ghara Toochi Diwali Daasra"

So ..
welcome Ashwini !!!
Welcome to the family !!!
&
HAPPY DIWALI TO ALL OF YOU !!!!!

Lets just all hope that my Bhabhi-to-be hasnt been reading this blog, cause that means she already knows I am crazy, instead of her realizing the same over the next couple of years !!

And yes as almost anyone I have talked to, or will talk to, is reminding me ... this does mean that my line is clear !! As if that was holding me back for some reason ! Nonetheless, if there is a God and if He happens to read this blog , Let there be light, finally !!!

All you can eat !

Recently I had the opportunity to eat as much Milk Maid as possible. I was reminded of my childhood when this was not possible, it was a strict no-no. Access to this over sweet fluid was restricted as part of discipline. We used to fight for the very little portion left over in the tin can after kulfi was made. So naturally when I had unlimited access I was excited. Unfortunately after the first two spoonfuls I couldn’t take any more. There was no pressure to stop!! No fear factor!!

As a child I had restricted access to stuff like cookies, Bournvita or milkmaid and such precious items. So if you wanted something a bit more than the usual rations you had to take matters in your own little hands! We had our chances when the protectors were out or sleeping. My approach was that of a professional. Make sure things look the same way as they were. The Handle of the jar must be as it was; the jars next to it must not be touched. Don’t spill anything, if you do make sure you wipe it and make sure you clean the cloth that you used to wipe it. Clean the cloth that you wiped the mess with, make sure it goes where it was. You also need to make sure after your raid the damage must not be evident right away , it should always be just right, high enough for your craving and low enough to not cause any alarms. Later on I felt really proud of my job, It was like a commando operation ! That was fun !!! I could write a book on these guerrilla tactics.

Today as an adult in charge of my own groceries I can buy as many chocolate cookies or Milk Maid or Bournvita as I like , I can have it for breakfast lunch dinner or all of the three. But how do I eat it ? I just walk into the kitchen with impunity and eat as much as I like. Where’s the fun in that ?

Stick with Prose

I tried writing a poem once, yeah I was really desperate and there was this chick ... well back to the point, I really tried. I got my pen I got my paper , I got myself but I couldnt get the words : Damn !!!! where to get them from ?

Wait Wait, I thought, I know some poems , then it occured to me; all that rote learning in the school , those Marathi , Hindi And English poems, everything had just been erased on the last day of exams. My deep distrust for all the poets assured that I would never bring them back to my life. I was blank and I was too lazy to go buy a book try to understand poems. Think think... there must be some poem in my mind somewhere . A week later, I had the Pen I had the PaperI had myself but I didnt have my words !!

Cmon !!! Time was running out !!! I had to get something down . I thought ......I thought , I forced my brains like an engineering student trying to make 40 marks when he knows he can attempt 30 marks !! I know you can do it !!!

Ok What comes to my mind first ? .................


Twinkle Twinkle Little Star
How I wonder what you are
Up above the world so high
Like a diamond in the sky

hmm I think I can do it ..Now the Student has just spotted a theory question where he can bullshit maybe 4 marks for attempt what about the next 6 ?
...... Silence , Damn it !

Wait I see a pattern

kaka kaku STAR
Mama Mamu ARE
Tata Tatu HIGH
Lala Lalu SKY


I am suddenly feeling blessed, I am the choosen one !!!
Yes I can do it , The student is now coasting he is beyond 40, hell he is aiming for 55 ! thats higher second class !! I am like the guy who had enlightenment under the tree.

So heres the algorithm; write up some words that will come at the end of the lines and then complete the sentence !! Then the complexity of the sentences increases as you go on. Also need to sprinkle some words like love and feel, yeah on and off let go off any grammer rules hmm and yes shuffle the odd line , make it feel real !!! Amazing !!!

So ok lets have some nice even numbers of lines

You
Too
call
tall
happy
lucky
some
come

Brilliant !!!!!

Then something strikes the corner of my eye its the Pune times , Valentines day is around the corner and the ad goes : last years winner was :

Roses are Red
Sky is Blue
Love is Sweet
And So are you

Yeah from the heart , but wait this goes against the system

kaka kaku RED
Mama Mamu BLUE
Tata Tatu SWEET
Lala Lalu YOU

That makes no sense !!!! Where the hell is the rhyme ? Blue and you , no way !!!!

This is what girls like ? Why not write a letter then , but thats not half as romantic
I am lost; The tree just fell down behind me, The student realised he can attempt only 3 questions from each section and not 5 as last year !!! 30 is again doubtful !!! 40 may be a stretch

Just finish this thing and stick to the rhyme !! You are disoriented but you have to stick to your deadline damn it !
So here is the award winning final draft of the poem :


I like You
Please like me Too
I will always call
my love is very tall
if you are happy
I feel so lucky
Hope you love this poem some
Following which my card will come

I will not comment on the result , the poem was sent, I am single to this day !!!
My advice

Poem writing is a pain
Hurts as Hail during Rain

Hurts like thorns with Rose
Next time just stick with prose !!


~Saurabh

Join the Group ?

Every Day I get an email from an acquiantance asking me to join some orkut community or the other , I am not kidding ! He sends me 4 emails every day so I figured by now he must be a part of atleast 100 communities . but when I looked at his profile I see that he is a member of only 20 !!

How come ? So either he is a selfless worker trying to propagate the groups ( which he somehow doesnt wanna join) or is just another crazy bastard who likes forwarding email from the Sai Baba Miracles to Dalai Lamas personal thoughts !

Now I must confess some of his "join this community" emails start with something like "If you are not an Alien who likes Oprah please ignore this email" or " if you are not a member of IITPMC 2000 batch please read on " Thats just so nice of him !!

Talking about Orkut ever get added by people whom you think you know but cant remember them , Boy oh Boy Happens to me a lot !!

I was reading my scraps the other day Isnt it great that people who dont wanna believe in the "orkut will delete your account" still send out emails which start like " I dont believe in these things but in case its true here is an email ...which I dont believe in , Heres a reality check , IT MEANS YOU BELIEVE IN IT , YOU FELL FOR THE BIGGEST HOAX !!!!

I love the concept of the scrap in orkut , its like an answering machine or a voice mail there are so many people whom you dont wanna talk to but would love to keep a message . A message is the best way to communicate , it gives to time to formulate an answer !!
A scrap in orkut is like saying you are too hideous to call and too boring to email so heres something for your voicemail .

My apologies

As I go through my emails and orkut scraps I realise that well I havent quiet responded to many people for the past few days / weeks , strangely there is no reason for this behaviour of mine !
So recently when I read that the pope had apologised for something he said I said to myslef its an omen that I must apologize to the masses for not saying anything so here goes


Sorry to Kedar Sule I asked for his number but never called him
Sorry to Rupesh Ghyar cause I asked for his number and yes ... never called him
Sorry to Sudeep Achalia for never replying to his emails
Sorry to Shamika Pradhan for using the busy card and not responding
Sorry to Sonali Kulkarni I havent responded to her email dated Jan 06
Sorry to Devyani Dixit for not bothering to reply to her emails
Sorry to Chaitali Desai for not calling her
Sorry to Bhushan Gangurde I have lost all contact with him
Apologies to Bhushan Hegde
Apologies to Priyank Gosavi
Apologies to Sonali Kulkarni
Apologies to Anagha Kulkarni

Sorry to Dushyant Wadhivkar for spelling his last name with an extra "h"
Sorry to Nikhil Dixit , I paid that girl to call you
Sorry to Nikhil Patil for calling him ( yes you read right)

Sorry to anyone I missed out
Sorry to all for postponing this post for 3 weeks

Saurabh